“BOYS DON’T CRY?”
Really??? How many of you feel the same?
Tears are how our heart speaks when our lips simply cannot find the words to describe the pain.
We live in a world where gender equality is constantly demanded; therefore, why do we differentiate emotions for boys and girls? We must pause and reflect on this gender stereotype.
The laws of nature speak for itself; we can see that crying or the first cry of a baby provides significant information about the baby’s well-being. This crying usually indicates that a new and distinct life has begun apart from the mother. This cry is used to receive care, support, and protection. This is how a baby communicates and asserts its presence. How can crying be unnatural and weak when this phenomenon is so natural and acceptable? When we tell our boys not to cry, aren’t we defying natural laws?
When we say things like boys don’t cry or be a man, we limit boys’ ability to express and feel their emotions. They begin to disconnect from themselves and others once they begin to suppress their feelings. This will have long-term consequences on their self-esteem, self-image, and emotional development. This can create a lot of bottled-up rage, aggression, frustration, fear, and irritation. This will have a negative impact on their mental health in the long run, as well as their ability to form intimate and honest relationships as adults.
We’ve all heard the expressions “boys don’t cry,” “man up,” and “don’t act like a girl.” You may or may not have been directed directly, but you must have heard them in casual conversations or in movies. The point is that we have all heard and internalized this, so it has become part of our belief system, knowingly or unknowingly. This belief becomes a problem as we begin to see things through different lenses. Unfortunately, we pass this belief down to our children, which can result in a laddish and overtly masculine mentality.
Girls are said to be more caring than boys. But who is to blame for this? Was it not our responsibility to nurture them? We expected them to be tough and not show emotion like girls. They’re just doing what they’ve been told. We must realise that it is our need that has changed; they are behaving exactly as we have told them to.
Emotions are not gender or sex specific. Boys experience emotions with the same intensity as girls. We put boys at risk by limiting their ability to express themselves. According to statistics, men share their feelings less frequently, which leads to an increase in mental health disorders, behavioural disorders, aggression, and even self-destructive behaviour.
Crying, according to experts, is a very healthy way of expressing feelings such as sadness, pain, or disappointment. Tears, according to research, release oxytocin and endorphins, which are chemicals that relieve physical and emotional pain. Crying can help reduce pain and increase one’s sense of well-being in this way. Crying has a calming effect, allowing you to feel relaxed and sleep better. Stress hormones leave your body after a good cry, making you feel lighter and better. Crying can assist you in achieving emotional equilibrium by assisting your body in recovering from a variety of strong and complex emotions.
What shifts when boys cry or start to express their emotions?
They will feel more in control of their emotions as a result.
They are easily able to empathize with others.
They will become more conscious of themselves and their surroundings.
They will be able to cope with strong emotions because they know how to deal with them.
They will be able to form stronger bonds with themselves and others.
They will be better able to deal with stressful situations.
They’ll be able to regulate their mood swings.
They will be able to perform better as a result.
Let us not forget that none of us are born perfect, and that we all learn and grow from our
experiences. Instead of ignoring and suppressing our emotions, we must recognize and accept them.
This will improve our ability to process, regulate, and comprehend emotions.
It’s time to let go of gender stereotypes and allow and encourage boys to cry, feel, and express
themselves. Allow them to express themselves, and then we’ll see how good a partner, a father, a
son, a brother, a friend, a leader, or a colleague he is.
If we want to see change in society, we must be the change rather than waiting for others to lead.